How Stupid Do They Think I Am?

Yes, that intrepid FBI agent “Robert S. Mueller III” is back once again in my inbox, only this time he has decided that I am the rightful recipient of the money and wants “…in conjunction with some other relevant Investigation Agencies…” to help me in getting the over-due contract payment that their “…Global intelligence monitoring network…” has told them I am due. They will help me make sure that it is all on the up and up as I work with them and the Central Bank of Nigeria to make my claim.

Must hurry though, because while they have taken out time to assure that this is the real thing, they have found that there is someone else that might get to the money first. And they’re in OHIO.  I suppose the capitalization is supposed to send fear through me and make me dash off to get my details in first before that sneak from OHIO beats me to my millions of dollars that  FBI agent “Robert S. Mueller III”assures me is not a scam.

I’ve included the email I got below. Steer clear of anything that looks like this.

_________________________________

ROBERT MUELLER III
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR FBI
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
FBI.WASHINGTON D.C
INTERNET

ATTENTION: BENEFICIARY,

The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Washington D.C
in conjunction with some other relevant Investigation Agencies
have recently been informed through our Global intelligence
monitoring network that your over-due contract payment
which was fully endorsed in your favour accordingly by the
Central Bank of Nigeria has not been claimed.

It might interest you to know that we have taken out time
in screening through this project as stipulated on our
protocol of operation and have finally
confirmed that your contract payment is 100% genuine and
hitch free from all facet and of which you have the lawful
right to claim your fund without any further delay.
We further advise that you go ahead in dealing with the
Governor of the Central Bank office accordingly as we will
be monitoring all their services with you as well as your
correspondence at all level.

We were also made to understand that a lady with name Mrs.
Joan C.Bailey from OHIO has already contacted them and also
presented to them all the necessary documentation evidencing your
claim purported to have been signed personally by you prior to
the release of your contract fund valued at about US$8,000,000.00
(Eight million United States Dollars), but the Central Bank office
did the wise thing by insisting on hearing from you personally
before they go ahead on wiring your funds to the Bank information
which was forwarded to them by the above named Lady so that the
main reason why they contacted us so as to assist them in making
the investigation.

Contact immediately the office of the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN)
via the private email of the governor with the below information accordingly:
(Please endeavour to use this code while contacting him –”CODE 777″ )

NAME: Sanusi Lamido Sanusi
OFFICE ADDRESS: Central Bank of Nigeria,
Central Business District,
Cadastral Zone, Abuja, Federal
Capital Territory, Nigeria.
Email: cbn777@sify.com
Phone: +234-805-121-5850

Meanwhile, we will advise that you  contact the office
of the Governor of the Central Bank immediately with
the above email address and request that they attend
to your payment file as directed, so as to enable you
receive your contract fund accordingly.

To this effect, you are required to reconfirm and
authenticate your given particulars below for certainty
and onward processing and release of you funds
as we may not be held liable for any wrong payment.

FULL NAMES: __________________________________
CITY: _________________________
STATE: __________________________________
ZIP: ______________
COUNTRY________________________________
SEX: _______________
AGE: __________________
TELEPHONE NUMBER: _____________________
EMAIL ADDRESS: _____________________

Ensure you follow all their procedure as may be required by
them as that will further help hasten up the whole procedure
as regard to the transfer of your fund to you as designated.
Also have in mind that the Central Bank of Nigeria
equally have their own protocol of operation as stipulated
on their banking terms, so delay could be very dangerous.

Thank you very much for your anticipated co-operation in
advance as we earnestly await your urgent response to this matter.

Best Regards,

Robert S. Mueller III
Federal Bureau of Investigation
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue,
NW Washington, D.C.
Private email : robmull4@aol.com

Okay, first off, if the FBI is going to tell me that I am “… adviced to comply urgently…” there is something seriously wrong with the educational system in the United States.  I got yet another letter that is supposed to be from the FBI warning me that I am going to be in sooooooo much trouble if I don’t send them what they want me to send them.  Well come on guys! You haven’t sent me Martin Fitzgerald and Danny Taylor yet, so why should I send you my personal information to a leo.gov e-mail address?

yup, it is from the FBI (crimesmornitoringunit@leo.gov) give me a break dudes, that is not the FBI’s e-mail address and they certainly would not be sending this to “undisclosed recipients” if they wanted to talk to me, they would know who I am and send Martin and Danny to  talk to me.  Right?   Right.

The scammy scummy e-mail this time is on perusal about the same as the last one, a poor effort to scare me into thinking the FBI is out to get me for being involved in a money transfer they fear might be connected to terrorism… oh, and they are screaming this at me of course.  I feel like I am sitting in a little room with Mulder and Scully playing good fed / bad fed while I have a bright light shining in my eyes.

“DON’T YOU KNOW THIS IS ILLEGAL?!?!”
“Maybe it’s not her fault.”
“THAT MONEY IS ON HOLD UNTIL YOU COOPERATE!”
“Just cooperate and we’ll leave you alone, and you can have the money.”

:::shaking head::::
I’m telling you guys, send in Martin and Danny – or at least have them be the ones to e-mail me, not “Faithfully Yours, FBI Director  Robert S. Mueller, III“.

The e-mail follows…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From: “FBI” <crimesmornitoringunit@leo.gov>
Reply-To: fbicrimesmornitoringunit@live.com

To: undisclosed-recipients: ;

Subject: FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION/URGENT REPLY NEEDED

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONITORING CRIMES DIVISION
FBI HEADQUARTERS, WASHINGTON D.C.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001

Date: 12/15/2008

ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONITORING CRIMES DIVISION

THIS IS AN OFFICIAL ADVICE FROM THE FBI FOREIGN REMITTANCE/TELEGRAPHIC DEPT. IT HAS COME TO OUR NOTICE THAT THE C.B.N BANK, NIGERIA DISTRICT, HAS RELEASED TO THE TUNE OF $10,500,000.00 U.S DOLLARS INTO THE BANK OF AMERICA IN YOUR NAME AS THE BENEFICIARY, COURTESY OF INHERITTANCE.

THE C.B.N BANK NIGERIA, KNOWING FULLY WELL THAT THEY DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH FACILITIES TO EFFECT THIS PAYMENT FROM THE UNITED KINGDOM TO YOUR ACCOUNT, USED WHAT WE KNOW AS A SECRET DIPLOMATIC TRANSIT PAYMENT (S.T.D.P) TO PAY THIS FUND THROUGH WIRE TRANSFER.

THEY ARE STILL, WAITING FOR CONFIRMATION FROM YOU ON THE ALREADY TRANSFERRED FUNDS, WHICH WAS MADE IN DIRECT TRANSFER SO THAT THEY CAN FINALLY CREDIT IT INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.

HOWEVER,SECRET DIPLOMATIC PAYMENTS ARE NOT MADE, UNLESS THE FUNDS ARE RELATED TO TERRORIST ACTIVITIES. WHY MUST YOUR PAYMENT BE MADE IN SECRET TRANSFER? IF YOUR TRANSACTION IS LEGITIMATE, IF YOU ARE NOT A TERRORIST, WHY DID YOU NOT RECEIVE THE MONEY DIRECTLY INTO YOUR ACCOUNT? THIS IS ACTUALLY AN ILLEGAL MODE OF PAYMENT?

RECORDS WHICH WE HAVE HAD WITH THIS METHOD OF PAYMENT IN THE PAST, HAS ALWAYS BEEN RELATED TO TERRORIST ACTIVITIES, WE DO NOT WANT YOU TO GET INTO TROUBLE AS SOON AS THESE FUNDS REFLECT IN YOUR ACCOUNT IN THE U.S. SO IT IS OUR DUTY AS A WORLD WIDE COMMISSION TO CORRECT THIS PROBLEM BEFORE THIS FUND WILL BE CREDITED INTO YOUR PERSONAL ACCOUNT.

WE ADVICE YOU TO CONTACT US IMMEDIATELY AS THE FUNDS HAVE BEEN STOPPED AND ARE BEING HELD IN OUR CUSTODY, UNTIL YOU CAN BE ABLE TO PROVIDE US WITH A DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY SEAL OF TRANSFER (DIST) WITHIN 3 DAYS FROM THE WORLD LOCAL BANK FROM WHERE THE FUNDS WERE TRANSFERED FROM, TO CERTIFY THAT THE FUNDS THAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO RECEIVE FROM NIGERIA ARE ANTI -TERRORIST/DRUG FREE. OR ELSE WE SHALL HAVE COURSE TO CROSS AND IMPOUND THE PAYMENT.WE SHALL ONLY RELEASE THE FUNDS IMMEDIATELY WE RECEIVE THIS LEGAL DOCUMENTS
—————————————————————————–

We have decided to contact you directly to acquire the proper verifications and proof from you to show that you are the rightful person to receive this fund, because of the amount involved. we want to make sure that the money your about to receive is clean and legal. Be informed that the fund is now in the United States in your name, but right now, we have given an authourisation to The Bank of America not to release the funds untill we ask them to do so.This is because we have to carry out our investigations first before releasing the funds to you.

So to this regards, you are to re-assure and prove to us that what you are about to receive is clean money by sending to us, FBI Identification Record and also The Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer (DIST) to satify that the money you are about to receive is legitimate. You are to forward the documents to us immediately if you have it in your possession, if you don’t have it, let us know, so that you will be directed on how and where to obtain the document and send to us, so that in turn,we will re-authourize the Bank of America to credit your funds.

However,An FBI Identification Record and Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer (DIST) often referred to as a Criminal History Record or Rap Sheet, is a listing of Certain information taken from fingerprint submissions retained by the FBI in Connection with arrests and, in some instances, federal employment, naturalization, or military service.

THESE CONDITION IS VALID UNTIL
THE 18TH OF DECEMBER 2008, AFTER WHICH WE SHALL TAKE ACTIONS ON CANCELLING THE PAYMENT AND THEN CHARGE YOU FOR ILLEGALLY MOVING OF FUNDS OUT OF NIGERIA.

GUARANTEE: FUNDS WILL BE RELEASED ON CONFIRMATION OF THESE DOCUMENTS.
——————————————————————————–

FINAL INSTRUCTION:

1, CREDIT PAYMENT INSTRUCTION: IRREVOCABLE CREDIT GUARANTEE

2,BENEFICIARY HAS FULL POWER WHEN VALIDATION IS
CLEARED.

3,BENEFICIARIES BANK IN U.S.A, CAN ONLY RELEASE FUNDS
UPON CONFIRMATION FROM THE WORLD BANK/IMF OR UNITED NATIONS.

4,BEARER MUST CLEAR BANK PROTOCOL AND VALIDATION REQUEST
——————————————————————————–

NOTE: We have asked for the above documents to make available the most complete and up-to date records possible for the enhancement of public safety, welfare and security of the Society, while recognizing the importance of individual privacy rights. If you fail to provide the Documents to us, we will charge you for money laundering and take appriopriate actions against you for not prooving to this commission, the legitimacy of the funds you are about to receive.

The United States Department of Justice Order (556-73) establishes rules and regulations for the subject of an FBI Identification Record to obtain a copy of his or her own Record for review.

The FBI Criminal Justice Information Services (CJIS) Division processes these requests to check illegal activities in the U.S.
An individual may request a copy of his or her own FBI Identification Record for personal review or to challenge information on the Record. Other reasons an individual may request a copy of his or her own Identification Record may include international adoption or to satisfy a requirement to live or work in a foreign country or receive funds from another country (i.e., Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer, letter of good conduct, criminal history back ground).
You are adviced to comply urgently.

Faithfully Yours,

FBI Director
Robert S. Mueller, III